


I will save what I love

by PrincesaSolo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage and Rose healing, F/M, Fluff, Gingerrose - Freeform, Life things, Love, Maturity, Paternity, Reunions, Romance, Songfic, Teen to adult romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 13:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30039072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincesaSolo/pseuds/PrincesaSolo
Summary: Gingerrose song fiction series.Each chapter is a One-Shot. None are related to each other.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Rose Tico, Armitage Hux/Rose Tico
Kudos: 8





	I will save what I love

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Salvaré lo que amo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29769465) by [PrincesaSolo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincesaSolo/pseuds/PrincesaSolo). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose goes to a dinner party of her friend Poe where she will meet some friends from high school, which will inevitably make her remember her ex-boyfriend Armitage.
> 
> Based on a (half) true event.
> 
> Listen to the song while you read  
> [Goodbye de Air Supply](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUfgs8VNX2s)  
> 

Rose Tico's life was calm and happy. She had long felt that she could be grateful for many things: her parents and her sister who were doing very well, her job that was stable, finally feeling like a beautiful and valuable woman... having that high self-esteem had cost her a long road of tears and pain until she found the answer deep inside her and understood that no one would be in charge of fixing it, more than just herself.

And she was fine. Rose was just fine and she wasn't just saying that for show. It was a feeling she couldn't describe but it was with her on most days... although she was still capable of having sad days like everyone else.

The cool air stamped her cheeks illuminated by the grapefruit-toned blush she had put on. Her hair pulled back in a long ponytail behind her neck and the earrings dangling from her cute ears. A black blouse that exposed one shoulder, green slacks and heeled sandals. Rose had dressed up, excited that after a long time of not having any engagement, Poe Dameron, her old friend from high school had invited her to a lunch for his birthday and that would give way to their reunion.

She entered the room where the party would take place, finding it beautifully decorated; five long rustic tables with flowers in the center were arranged under a wooden cover. There were blue balloons raised in small columns that were swaying in the pre-spring breeze.

Poe and Finn stood up and walked over to her, greeting her with a warm hug.

“Happy birthday Poe, it's so good to see you... to see you both...” said Rose.

“By the Force, look at you!" exclaimed Finn taking her by the hand and giving her a twirl, "doesn't she look beautiful, darling?” He asked Poe who was wearing a wide smile as he squeezed the young girl's shoulder.

“She looks radiant." he agreed, which made the slant-eyed girl giggle.

“Well, you two are even more handsome than I remember and you look more than happy.”

“The truth is, we have news to tell you." Finn commented, placing his palm over his mouth.

“But I think that's going to have to wait a bit because the guests are arriving." said the birthday boy with a sad face as he realized that behind his friend more people were already arriving. Excuse me. "said Poe giving her a big hug.”

“Oh, don't worry... I'll wait patiently." she agreed.

“Rey is back there and she brought her brand new husband Ben." Finn elbowed her in her ribs. "If you want you can go sit with them and we'll catch up with you in a little while.”

“Sure, I'll be right there." she announced, leaving the couple to take care of the reception. She walked with a determined step to the table in the middle where her friends were.

Rey and Ben had been an established couple for years. They had become high school sweethearts, as well as she and Armitage.

It had been a long time since she had seen them, as their demanding adult lives gave them little chance of that, although through social networks they had plenty of contact. Especially with each other. 

They both stood up when they saw her arrive, gave each other a warm hug and took their seats again.

“Sorry to be the third wheel" the girl apologized.

“Oh, come on Rose, don't say that, I'm so glad to see you!" said Rey, giving her hand a little squeeze.

“How have you been, Rose?” Ben's husky voice questioned her with genuine curiosity, leading to a long chat between the three of them that continued even when the food was brought to them.

Rose told them briefly about herself and her work and then it was their turn to talk.

She was glad to see them beaming and happier than when they had been classmates at the same school so many years ago. She could tell that between them was more vivid than ever that spark that had always been seen between them.

A band began to play behind them, but the conversation did not end despite that. They raised the tone of their voices and went to reminisce about their old high school days.

Thus, the memories came back to her like a rush.

It was inevitable not to invite remembrance in that place. After all, Armitage had been part of her story for six long years, but unlike Rey and Ben who got through it all, they could not.

The good thing was that the memories no longer hurt, Rose had taken care of that in therapy and felt it was a closed matter, but as soon as Ben mentioned the ginger, the last look she received from him when they said goodbye appeared in her mind, as sharp as if she was seeing him at that moment.

_I can see the pain living in your eyes  
And I know how hard you try  
You deserve to have much more  
I can feel your heart and I sympathize  
And I'll never criticize  
All you've ever meant to my life_

_I don't want to let you down  
I don't want to lead you on  
I don't want to hold you back  
From where you might belong_

They were so young and loved each other as much as they could possibly do at that age, that they took a lot of things for granted... or maybe they never stopped to talk about them because they believed that life would take them along and that their love could handle that and more.

Their affection was pure, but also immature. She was now able to recognize it and see it without the veil of pain that emanated from her when the breakup came.

The road seemed so far away and distant, as if she were another woman. Although she knew that in a way she was.

Back then, she had spent thousands of sleepless nights, wondering at what point their love for each other had shifted and twisted to spill out in the form of disagreements, problems and concurrent fights.

Why had they crossed that line?

They used to understand each other, listen to each other, declare their feelings with the firmest fervor in the world and had a thousand plans that they never got to realize.

There were bad moments at the end of their relationship, but also many wonderful ones. And she was aware that the mind sometimes played tricks and clung only to those times full of happiness that could be deceptive.

She could not deny that joy had accompanied them for a long time and that they had given each other the best years of their lives because at that young age they had done everything. They had enjoyed themselves immensely while growing up.

And that had been precisely the problem.

_You would never ask me why  
My heart is so disguised  
I just can't live a lie anymore  
I would rather hurt myself  
Than to ever make you cry  
There's nothing left to say but goodbye_

Their paths had defined themselves to the point where they didn't match and where what she was doing wasn't enough for him, and what he was giving Rose wasn't enough for her anymore.

And it was the saddest thing that could happen to them when they had already talked about getting married and starting a family.

The talk with Rey and Ben –actually, the memories Rose was conjuring in her mind- were interrupted by Poe who came to their table with a bottle of wine. He poured them all three without distinction and brought them over to enjoy a drink with him. Ben smiled and took his glass and the one for his wife.

“I'm sorry, but Rey can't drink." he announced with a bright smile.

“Oh my God, don't tell me that..." began the celebrant with a surprised look on his face.

“Yes, we are expecting!" Rey answered with rosy cheeks.

“It's beautiful news guys, congratulations!" exclaimed Rose with more joy in her chest.

“We still don't know if it's him or her." commented Rey, rubbing her tummy, which was not very visible if the clothes weren't sticking to it.

“Or if it's _them_ " said Ben proudly, receiving a kiss on the cheek from Rey. “But as soon as we know, we'll let you know.”

“How beautiful!” said Rose in trance. "And you're the first ones.”

“Oh well, if we're talking about the present ones, yes." commented Finn, joining them and sticking his spoon into the conversation. “But I know someone who's already beaten you.”

Poe looked at him with wide eyes and a warning grimace, but her boyfriend's filter wasn't working because he'd already had one too many vodka cocktails.

“Oh yeah?” Rey asked curiously. “Who?”

The young girl from the Otomok neighborhood knew the answer. The rumors had reached her some time ago, and for her personal pride, she could boast with great confidence that it didn't make her sick. After all, life had gone on.

She knew that Armitage was with someone and that, apparently, the family he had wanted so much was just a step away from being fulfilled, with a woman who was not her. Rose took it with maturity and mentally sent him the best of vibes and happiness because he deserved it.  
At the end of the day, she wouldn't be who she was if what happened at her side hadn't happened. Their relationship taught her many lessons.

“Armitage" the brunette blurted out and realized immediately what he was saying. “Oh, I'm sorry Rosie... I didn't mean...”

“Hey, calm down... that was many years ago and everything is fine. Babies are always nice news and I hope he's doing well. Even if he had come today I would have no problem meeting him, I'm serious." she explained looking at her four friends who first looked worried about her, but when they saw her talking they relaxed their gesture.

“I invited him, but, he told me he couldn't come... maybe it was for the best.” Finn shrugged his shoulders and Poe decided to put an end to that talk of Rose's ex-boyfriend.

“We'd better toast because we're reunited and because it's my birthday.” he asked.

“For Poe!” exclaimed Rey raising her glass of pure water.

“And to having twins!” said Finn, making everyone laugh.

The five of them clinked their glasses.

* * *

Poe and Finn were laughing two tables away from her with their other guests. Ben and Rey were dancing in the distance, deep in their own world. She had momentarily been left alone at the table, but it didn't bother her. She pulled out her cell phone to distract herself a bit, scanning the _instacrait_ and giving hearts to the pictures of her and her friends that were already on Dameron's network.

The weather was nice and so was being there. Rose thought she was complete, but she also didn't want to deny that there was something she had been waiting for a long time and that was to find someone to share with. Her last few relationships hadn't progressed any further, although they hadn't been disastrous either thanks to the work she had already done on it. She had been single for a while and hoped that soon she would be able to find a partner with whom to share all that she carried inside her. She had come to this meal to see her friends, but with the hope of perhaps meeting someone new.

And yet, she had only found the traces of what had been their relationship and had remembered herself as a teenager very much in love.

She smiled to herself somewhat wistfully. She turned, eager to see how Poe and Finn were enjoying themselves and instead met a greenish gaze with streaks of gray she hadn't seen for five long years.

Armitage was as surprised as she was, standing at the entrance to the room.

Her heart skipped a beat as she realized that he had changed almost nothing, except that he wore the long beard she had hated so much in their courtship days. This time she discovered that it suited him very well.

Slim as ever, tall, serious... and handsome, very handsome in that white shirt and blue pants. He always had good taste in clothes and it seemed to stay.

The couple cut off their vision by crossing toward him to welcome the ginger. She had no trouble guessing where they were going to seat him.

Poe was the one who pointed him to the table where Rose was and nudged him to send him over there.

Rose didn't take her eyes off him as he approached. He reached her and lifted the corner of his mouth.

“May I sit with you?” he asked politely.

“Of course you can." she said, removing her bag from the chair next to her.

He took his seat and spent a few seconds looking at her. Thousands of adjectives leapt into his mind as he discovered her more beautiful than he remembered.

“How have you been, _Ross_?” He asked her and she felt her nerves at being called that. It had been years since she had heard that nickname that only he used.

“Very well, thank you.”

“How are Hue and Thanya? And Paige?”

“My parents are on vacation, something like their third honeymoon, you know how sweet they were with each other and now that they are retired they are taking their time to enjoy themselves and well. Paige is in the hospital, if not giving consultations, then probably operating.”

“Some things don't change." he said, letting out a giggle that infected his ex-girlfriend.

“ _Yes"_ thought Rose as she felt the confidence emanating from their conversation, but she didn't say anything. “And Millie, is she still alive?” Rose dared to ask. She had adored that kitten with all her heart. She had been his while they were dating, but after they separated, he insisted on keeping her, and she couldn't refuse.

“Of course she lives. She's quite a lady, you know. She's still just as whimsical and affectionate in her own way. There she is at home on top of her favorite cushion. The one you gave her." he added without quite knowing why. Armitage felt he wanted to let her know that she was still there in some way, even if it didn't make sense.

“Oh, she still has it... I'm glad to know." she commented, remembering those afternoons the three of them spent sprawled on the couch in the Hux living room with baby Millie curled up between the two of them.

The moment felt good, though it gradually faded and became a little awkward as they both discovered they were connecting things from the past.

“You look great, _Ross_." he said, looking shy and she reacted automatically wanting to avoid whatever was going to happen, changing the subject.

“I have to congratulate you!" she blurted out, earning the strangeness permeating her pale face.

“Me? Why?”

“Because you're going to be a father!" Hux raised his eyebrows in surprise. And she smiled at him. “Yes, you know how people are, here everything is known.”

“Ross..." he said, but she didn't say a word.

“I think it's wonderful that you can achieve that dream."

he was about to interrupt her, but listening to her talk was reminding him of the last few times they sat around trying to mend their tattered relationship. And he remembered how much he loved to see her jump into a topic, take the floor and give her opinion. He knew she was another Rose, but he was also another Armitage. He wasn't able to stop her because he gawked at those lips he kissed countless times in hundreds of possible ways.

“Children are beautiful, and well naughty too, but they are tender when they are so tiny, and you probably won't sleep for many nights, but I imagine that the joy of having that baby in your arms after the wait will be the best reward and although it is an immense responsibility to bring a little one into the world, I know it will be a beautiful stage and I know you will be a great father. You always had it very clear. So, congratulations Armitage."

He moved instinctively catching Rose's palm between his.

A whiplash ran through their bodies and though neither said it, they knew the other had felt it too, they still knew those looks and their reactions.

“Ross...the baby...the baby wasn't mine." he confessed in the gentlest voice he could muster.

“B-But... B-But... A-Arm... oh no... no...!”

“It's all right. I'm fine..." he soothed her seeing the horror on her pretty face.

“I'm sorry I... I shouldn't have!” Rose covered her mouth with her hands, ashamed. “ _Armie_ , forgive me, really.”

“Easy" he told her, trying to calm himself because she had used his nickname. “You couldn't have known. People always say things, and at the time I thought I'd be a father too, but she... well, she had other plans and it was wrong what she did... although I'm thankful I found out at three months and not nine. It was hard at first I'm not going to say no, but it happened and on second thought...I guess it wasn't the time, or the person.”

“Gee... I'm sorry, it's just...”

“Let's change the subject, shall we?” he proposed, ready to put an end to his ex-girlfriend's discomfort.

Luckily for the ex-couple, Ben and Rey approached to take their places again, taking advantage of the fact that the musicians had taken a break. Their alone time was over for the rest of the party.

And it was Armitage Hux's turn to update his old friends on what he had been doing with his life.

* * *

The birthday boy and his boyfriend were totally drunk when she hugged them goodbye. Ben and Rey had retired earlier, leaving Rose and Armitage together again which made it conducive for them to talk another while about each other and what they were doing with their lives. 

The party was getting denser than they imagined it would be, as Dameron's work friends could handle a buzz.

The young girl was glad to slip away from, before she was forced to have yet another glass of wine or perhaps something stronger.

Armitage accompanied her, now silently to her car.

When they arrived and she rested a hand on the door handle she turned to him to say goodbye.

“I'm sorry I was rash with everything I said to you, but..." she locked her black eyes on him and had to muster great strength to regain the thread of her words What was going on? Or rather the question was why was what she knew was happening to her happening? “But it was good to see you...”

“I'm sorry too." he hastened to say. He had his hands in his pants pockets in a shy gesture. "I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I'm sorry I ruined everything.”

Rose took a step back, taken aback.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

_You deserve the chance at the kind of love  
I'm not sure I’m worthy of  
Losing you is painful to me_

_I don't want to let you down  
I don't want to lead you on  
I don't want to hold you back  
From where you might belong_

“Because I know you felt something when I took your hand. I know because I saw it on your face.”

“Armitage don't...”

“And I felt it too." he confessed, perhaps taking a step for which there was no return. He couldn't help it when he saw her talk, smile, tell of her and her new life. He couldn't help but feel the flames fanned but in a different way.

“I am already someone else." she whispered, feeling her voice crack and the lump press against her throat. It was her pride to say that she was already different, that she had changed and it was okay, but also, it had hurt her a little to remember herself as so small in age and attitude. It also surprised her to still feel attracted to the ginger.

“And so am I. And I know I hurt you a lot at the last. I was an idiot and immature.”

“I hurt you too." Rose added, unable to leave the full responsibility for what happened to him. “We both wanted to save what we loved and we couldn't.”

“We couldn't... not then. I don't want to justify myself, but it was very bad and if I left you it was because I was hurting you and I couldn't bear to hurt you the way I was hurting you anymore...

_You would never ask me why  
My heart is so disguised  
I just can't live a lie anymore  
I would rather hurt myself  
Than to ever make you cry  
There's nothing left to say but goodbye_

“We were kids." said Rose, no longer able to keep the tears away.

“And now we're adults and I've taken care of my problems. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I have my life figured out, but I was finally able to take care of everything my father took care of and my insecurities...”

“Did you come to tell me this or did it just occur to you out of the blue because we met again?” She asked now, feeling hurt. She thought he was playing with her and still had that ability to inflict pain.

“I didn't know you would be here, I swear and I had no plans to come, just as it wasn't in my plans to tell you all this, but I saw you and although I remembered many things… it's not just that, Rose... it's not just that and you know it, I know you know it..." he spoke with a vehemence that made Rose's skin crawl.

However she saw the shadow of the situation.

She shook her head.

“You can't do this to me... I was doing fine... I wasn't thinking about you... we can't go back... we can't...”

“Why not?” He reached over and removed Rose's hands that were covering her eyes. “We made our lives, we met people, we healed, we dedicated ourselves to each other... time went on and we have found each other again... you are not with anyone and neither am I and, I think there is still something... it feels... don't you feel it?” he spoke trembling, but determined that this time it might be different. “I was immature before and although I offered you the world, I couldn't give it to you and I wasn't going to be able to because I was in pieces waiting for you to be the one to complete me. I placed expectations on you and the relationship and I held on to that, I gave you responsibilities that weren't because it's easier to do that than to take care of you and accept mistakes.”

Rose was surprised at the way he spoke and understood. Every word that came out of him was a direct hit to everything he had worked for. She had made demands of him too...she had wanted to change him in certain ways too and that was why everything had gone down the drain.

“Now I am whole and I would like to share that with you. You have blossomed into a more beautiful woman inside and out... if you want to, if you give me the chance...”

_You would never ask me why  
My heart is so disguised  
I just can't live a lie anymore  
I would rather hurt myself  
Than to ever make you cry  
There's nothing left to try  
Though it's gonna hurt us both  
There's no other way than to say goodbye_

She breathed in his sweet manly scent and felt herself fill with him feeling like she found an answer and a new path. She cried on his chest for several minutes while he hugged her and she listened to his crazy heart pounding inside his body.

She was afraid that she was making a mistake and that this reunion would mean her ruin. She was afraid that it would be the same as before but it couldn't be, because everything had already changed individually... and it was true what he had told her:

None stopped their lives. They each went on and worked by themselves and for themselves and were with other people. Maybe their meeting again meant nothing or maybe it meant everything. Maybe it was the sign that they were meant to be, but that first they had to grow up and be away, resolve and find each other again to love each other more and very differently than they had as teenagers...

Rose thought she wouldn't know the answer until she risked finding out....

Maybe that goodbye they gave each other back then was the greatest act of love they could bestow on each other that made them be there again, years later.

Rose looked at him almost losing herself in his handsome face. The words came out on their own:

“I don't know if this is going to work." she whispered. "But I'm not going to deny that I feel something either and maybe this is... _by the force!_ Maybe this is hasty, I don't know... but I want to find out." she told him already losing herself in the brightness of his beautiful eyes that contrasted beautifully with his red hair and beard. “I want to know you again...”

“Maybe you won't like me." Armitage joked and felt her release the tension in a sigh that preceded her melodious laugh.

“Or maybe I like you better..." shrugged the young girl. “Maybe you don't like the new _Ross_ either.”

“I doubt the latter... that's an impossibility. In any galaxy, in any alternate world, there's no way I don't like you.”

They laughed nervously, taking in the craziness they had just accepted and welcoming the tickle in their chests and the bliss.

A second chance. No. A _New_ chance. A _different_ one.

He wrapped her in his arms again. He pulled her back and cornered her between his body and the car.

She put up no more resistance, already lifting her face to receive the lips she had forgotten.

It was a new kiss that none of them wanted to compare with those of the past, but that tasted of hope, love, sweetness and decision.


End file.
